Michelle is moving to Boston in less than a few weeks. That is not good. Well, selfishly not good for me, at least. It's a Good Thing that she's going to grad school because becoming a professor to teach something that you love is an accomplishment that 99.9% of people can only dream of doing. 'Tis quite the bitter-sweet scenario indeed.
But I'm not here today to talk about my emotional selfishness. No, I'm here to talk about metropolitan areas. Michelle and I have both lived our entire lives in Illinois, with our formative years taking place in and/or around Chicago. As a reminder of what the Chicago area is like, take a quick glance at the map below.
Now let's examine the Boston area. Move your mouse on top of the picture of Chicago and study the differences for a moment. (If the picture doesn't change when you move the mouse pointer over it, your computer is broken.)
I'll wait. Mouse on, mouse off, mouse on, mouse off.
Look at Chicago, all nice and ordered. Numbered streets; intersections that look like nice clean "plus" signs; maybe a few diagonal roads for convenience reasons. Then you have Boston. It's like someone took a normal organized city and ran it in a taffy pulling machine for about 30 seconds only to realize all too late that cities are not made of taffy. Clearly, Boston was laid out by blindfolded drunk people riding in ramshackle carts pulled by crippled yaks. Any city in which a halfway intelligent person can get thoroughly lost while using a GPS (I proudly being halfway intelligent) is a city that needs to just be leveled down and given a second try. New England, it's time to cut your losses and start taking some urban planning cues from the Midwest. I expect a full proposal on my desk by 10:00 tomorrow morning.
For those who are familiar with the workings of Wikipedia and perhaps political prattling, the following xkcd comic from last year might be enjoyable. I wonder if anyone has ever done this during an actual politician’s speech…
Also, I get a kick out of random document generators like this. I only wish I studied philosophy so that I could know why I shouldn’t understand what I’m reading.
And on a completely different note, I have some good news! I'm moving to Urbana in a few weeks to start a job as a quasi school psychologist. Rural Champaign County is willing to hire non-certified folks like me to fill in some holes around the county, and so I'm very happy and grateful to oblige. I recently found a place to live and everything. It's a nice duplex with a garage and such, rented by a fellow who works at UIUC, and who, from my online snooping research, appears to be an established expert on computer security and cyberterrorism. Neato.
I'm really looking forward to this job, but I must say that it's kind of silly that I need to stumble upon a situation like this only by crazy luck. (Oh, wait, I feel a rant coming on.) The thing is, after six years of grad school, a gigantic written comprehensive examination, original research, and a 12-month internship, I can't get certified even though someone with two years of grad school, a 9-month internship, and no comprehensive exam can. Absolutely nothing against those who didn't get their Ph.D.; I just can't wrap my head around this convoluted system that refuses to recognize qualifications that should be recognized. Why punish someone for wanting to get this degree? Why force doctoral candidates to remain outside of their field of expertise -- to have to stretch themselves so thin to make ends meet so that they have neither sufficient time nor resources to devote to the completion of a dissertation? Some programs offer a Masters degree en route to a Ph.D., which would help to solve the problem, but alas mine does not. Or rather, they didn't at the time of my entrance. They do offer a Masters now, but for reasons not really understood by me, they refuse to fold the earlier students into the new policy. Not that I'm bitter or anything.
Wow, no...actually, it appears that I am indeed a little bitter. I'll blame the chai latte that I had tonight. That stuff always goes straight to my head.
Okay, rant complete. That was relatively tame, I suppose. Now I go to bed.
Also, I get a kick out of random document generators like this. I only wish I studied philosophy so that I could know why I shouldn’t understand what I’m reading.
And on a completely different note, I have some good news! I'm moving to Urbana in a few weeks to start a job as a quasi school psychologist. Rural Champaign County is willing to hire non-certified folks like me to fill in some holes around the county, and so I'm very happy and grateful to oblige. I recently found a place to live and everything. It's a nice duplex with a garage and such, rented by a fellow who works at UIUC, and who, from my online snooping research, appears to be an established expert on computer security and cyberterrorism. Neato.
I'm really looking forward to this job, but I must say that it's kind of silly that I need to stumble upon a situation like this only by crazy luck. (Oh, wait, I feel a rant coming on.) The thing is, after six years of grad school, a gigantic written comprehensive examination, original research, and a 12-month internship, I can't get certified even though someone with two years of grad school, a 9-month internship, and no comprehensive exam can. Absolutely nothing against those who didn't get their Ph.D.; I just can't wrap my head around this convoluted system that refuses to recognize qualifications that should be recognized. Why punish someone for wanting to get this degree? Why force doctoral candidates to remain outside of their field of expertise -- to have to stretch themselves so thin to make ends meet so that they have neither sufficient time nor resources to devote to the completion of a dissertation? Some programs offer a Masters degree en route to a Ph.D., which would help to solve the problem, but alas mine does not. Or rather, they didn't at the time of my entrance. They do offer a Masters now, but for reasons not really understood by me, they refuse to fold the earlier students into the new policy. Not that I'm bitter or anything.
Wow, no...actually, it appears that I am indeed a little bitter. I'll blame the chai latte that I had tonight. That stuff always goes straight to my head.
Okay, rant complete. That was relatively tame, I suppose. Now I go to bed.
I haven't posted anything in a while because I am in a pact with Michelle that I will update my blog on the same day that she learns how to use her iPod.
This post doesn't count.
Oh yeah, and apparently this is a death pact. And we only have about seven days left.
So, hey, Michelle? Do you want me to show you how to get that iTunes thing working this week?
Free money was magically deposited into my checking account today. Should I be boring and save it or reckless and spend it?
Do you know what one of life's greatest little pleasures is? New shoelaces. Seriously, just tying up those shoes of mine without the fear of snapping a shoelace (which is enough to turn any day utterly sour) makes me want to whistle "Zippity-do-dah" all the way to work.
Since I can't get to sleep quite yet, here's a blog entry.
First, everyone cross your fingers for Michelle, who slammed through a recent screening process and has now been invited for an audition for Jeopardy! early this summer! This is super exciting, and also gives a context for me to feel less stupid for not being able to compete with her whatsoever when watching the show on TV.
Second, I went to my very first Passover meal last weekend. Does that make me Jewish now? Anyway, it was a very fun time with good food and good company, and it resulted in a rare photograph of me. Michelle and I look like such a stereotypical "white" couple. Yes, I have clothes from the gap and I drink coffee! SORRY!
Third, we saw Les Miserables this week. It was very excellent. It was also very long and I didn't get home until almost midnight -- on a school night. Why can't I quit working and have free money thrown at me? Because that would be wonderful. But it was worth it! Especially because I didn't have to pay anything.
Fourth, tonight was Greek Easter with Michelle and some of her extended family. Another great meal with nice people. I'm getting very tired now, though, so I think I'll have to write more later. Please hold me to that.
You know how you occasionally come across an invention and wonder how no one had thought of it until now? Here's a newfangled contraption that is going to change the way we think about pet transport:
This guy is going to make millions, I tell ya. I came up with the name, though (exclamation mark included). If I see anyone else using it for profit, I'm suing.
I don't usually write too much about politics, but I just have to lay this one down. Here are two videos - the first is a new ad from Hillary Clinton and the second is a clip of some wise words from Bill Clinton.
Oh Valentine's Day...the blessing or the bane. Fortunately, this year I got to be one of the people wondering why all those others hate the day so much, and was therefore hated by all those others. Because of silly work schedules, Michelle and I celebrated the day on the 13th. We went to a very nice and swanky restaurant for dinner, where we ate very small yet delicious portions of food, and actually ended up feeling quite satisfied. We both also did the sickeningly sickening act of making cards for each other. Michelle made me the best card ever. As for my card for her, I attempted to be out-of-character artistic with it and ended up being so corny that I vomited several times during the inking process. She didn't vomit [in front of me], though, and I guess that's what's most important.
In all, a wonderful evening, and so far 2008 is going rather swimmingly. Next up: Daylight Savings Time Day! Oy, and I haven't even started shopping yet.
The man who opened fire at NIU yesterday was apparently a current student at the University of Illinois studying for a Masters in Social Work. The papers were all saying sociology, but the UIUC phone book says social work. Either way, it's utterly messed up that someone who studies or practices within a field dedicated to eliminating problems like this would commit such an act. I know, it goes without saying. But social work! I cannot understand it. These are people who help the victims of crimes and counsel people with violent tendencies.
He also graduated just a year after me from Elk Grove High School, which is not far from where I grew up. Meaning that it's very likely that I know someone who knows him.
Events like this are hard to swallow, but usually there is some explanation for it, or some sort of "profile" to attach to the killer. This one doesn't fit. No criminal record, graduate student, honor student, social scientist, not socially isolated. This could have been one of my grad school classmates, for God's sake.
I was in Springfield for the ISPA conference yesterday and gave a big ol' important presentation about receptive language and autism. One person showed up. A few others stopped by to ask for handouts because they were just on break from workshops, so I guess I should be happy that there was at least some interest out there. And I had semi-podium with one of those flexible microphone arms. I didn't actually have a microphone, but pretended that I did. As you can clearly see, it was an engaging interactive presentation, despite the sparse attendance:
Oh, I did not like having my alarm go off at 5:00 on a Saturday morning. But alas, that is what was necessary when a full day of testing starts at 7:15 and I have to drive 30 miles to get there. Today was the big state certification test, which entailed a five-hour "general skills" portion of reading, writing, and math (I am so glad I aced geometry in high school), and a more specific portion that was straight-up school psychology. For the most part, I didn't feel like an idiot, so hopefully that's a good sign. I just struggled a bit with the reading comprehension. For some reason, that's always been my weakness - ever since I was a little kid. But at the risk of jinxing myself, I'm going to just go out there and say that the school psychology part wasn't really that bad. I was expecting it to be trickier.
Of course, it could have been so tricky that I didn't even notice, therefore meaning that I utterly bombed it.
But let's not dwell on such negative thoughts.
Yes, I think I did O.K.
