Oh John McCain, you sneaky fellow, you! Just when we thought that you exhausted everything from your bag o' 100% truths, you throw yet another one at us! So what's going on with this Obama-Ayers connection that our friend Sarah brought up the other day? Why in the world would Barack Hussein Obama II pal around with a terrorist who tried to bomb the Pentagon in the 60s? How did we not know about this before?? Those sneaky Democrats managed to keep this hidden for all this time! Clearly, this is a crucial piece of the puzzle in finally pinning down the true dark identity of the mysterious fellow who's trying to sneak into the White House to destroy it from the inside. With only 30 or so days left, this discovery came just in the nick of time!
Wait...hold on a second. Someone else is trying to talk to me...
What's that you say? This terrorist guy isn't Obama's best buddy in the whole wide world? The two just sat in the same rooms together in the 90s during talks about education and community reform? Obama didn't laugh and joke with him about the destruction of all that the Flag stands for over bottles of imported beer?
Ha! Well, see, that can't be possible! I mean, if Obama wasn't pals with a terrorist, then that means that the McCain campaign is, well, smearing him. And that's just silly. Don't you remember McCain telling us a while back that using smear tactics in politics simply means that you have no substance to run on? Let me tell you, all these character attacks on Obama have to be true because McCain is hardly even talking about the economic crisis. He did say "country first," right? The economy is important, when when you're talking about the welfare of our people, you have to be willing to find balance and compromise. I haven't heard much more than a peep about much else lately, so these facts about Obama's previously-unknown character must be very serious and definitely a top priority! We need to protect America from would-be leaders who have lived near domestic terrorists -- terrorists who run free in the streets of Chicago and teach at radical Islamic universities! What's that place called where Ayers works? UIC? Who even knows what that stands for! And don't get me started about Obama knowingly and actively engaging in education reform and anti-poverty committees with miscreants. Terrorist education reform and anti-poverty committees. So typical.
Be strong, McCain and Palin. Don't listen to all those freedom-hating liberals who accuse you of running a shallow and hypocritical political campaign. Don't listen to those spins about irrelevant associations with husbands who belonged to anti-American Alaskan succession groups. Don't listen to those small minds who choose to ask questions and point out incongruencies! You know what's best for this country, and you know what it means to put country first. You've clearly proved to us: it means that you must win, no matter what!
Just for the record, Palin said that, so I think you should address this entry to her, not McCain. (You say "McCain" five times in this entry, and "Palin" is only mentioned once.)
Also, mayyyybe it's time for the liberal media to give Obama the same kind of attention it gives McCain? Maybe? Yes?
Yes.
I'm not saying I think the Obama-Ayers connection is really plausible (I mean, he was like 8 at the time of the bombings, let's do some research before we smear) but let's be honest: the media has not given this election equal coverage. I think it's only fair to look critically at Obama's past and the people he associates with...
Look, the bottom line is, I hate you, you dirty hippie liberal commie terrorist, and we should break up.
Hey Tim - You sound like Keith Olbermann. E-mail this to him. He would love it!
And as a postscript - WE'RE PROUD OF YOU. WE BROUGHT YOU UP RIGHT!!!